I wish the truth wasn't true
And I could live in a world where you never happened
You're the disk jockey from hell
and i despise the beats and melodies you inflict out of low pitched frequencies pulsing out of 14 inches of nylon and god knows what else to produce a piece of shit sound that drowns out your bullshit tunes I could spit and shit all over.
I wish the passed didn't happen.
and I would rewind time to make you a blur on the space time continuum lost in oblivion around some foreign universe where i'll never have to hear or see you ever again in my passed, present or future
Cause really, I'm having a hard time figuring out what's worse: hearing you or seeing you
I wish I stuck out what I planned
and my own weakness didnt get in the way of what I knew
I knew what I knew was right but you were the only shoulder I could cry on free of biased perspective
If only i could have cried on your shoulder without having to deal with yours on mine first.
If I could I'd burn away the ocean and all your words and all the trees and the sand and denim pants and jackets and who knows what the fuck else in spite of you so you knew exactly how much i wish i could destroy your memory
I wish that I had patience, and wasn't weak, or vulnerable, or scared, or prideful
so I could have kept what I knew deep down was golden
while it was in front of me,
for the first time in months,
instead of going through all the hell of strength and resilience.
I wish I could throw you up into a toilet so you could be flushed down into the ground or wherever the fuck everyone's shit goes, where you belong.
But really, these wishes can't happen.
and try as i might, finding peace with myself seems more impossible.
so while i DO hate you and everything about you and all i did thats over and done,
i mostly hate myself for letting any event of such occur
because while i'm an idiot and and only think of things i should have thought of months ago now,
i can't erase the past,
i can't make you a blur on the space time continuum,
i can't burn away the ocean, or the trees, or denim and my stupidity isn't their fault, so why would i?
and i can't throw you up into a toilet
And I hate you summer;
because you lied to me and told me love would be a breeze
and the tone of your 2 o'clock bell said I would be free for two months
but ohh, summer you fucked me over.
summer meant to say binge drinking would ease the pain,
summer meant whisper: "replace that empty spot inside you with another"
summer meant to yell: "fuck someone and fuck yourself"
and you summer, i wish would blow away in the fucking wind and eat your own fecal matter
but you won't.
so i guess i can only do what's left:
make peace with myself and make peace with summer.
because he has, because i don't give a shit if its a thought on your mind, and because summer is just a season
but that doesn't kill the fact that;
I wish the truth wasn't true.
